Your Wedding Invitation Wording can be Tricky.

Wedding Invitation Wording - objectives

Your Wedding Invitation Wording is very important since it has to achieve six different objectives:

* Who is doing the inviting

* Who are being married

* Who is being invited

* The date and venue of the wedding

* The venue of the reception

* The address for the reply

And there is frequently a seventh: to which of the wedding and the reception is that person being invited, since there is not always room for everybody at both venues. The Wedding Invitation Wording should be in a formal type, and copperplate calligraphy is as formal as you can get. However, there are no rules, so choose a typeface that you like.

Wedding Invitation Wording - protocol

Who is doing the inviting is very important, and could involve a bit of protocol, though generally the first part of the Wedding Invitation Wording of an wedding invitation: “Mr and Mrs ____ Request the Pleasure of Your Company...”, is not an issue. However, it is not all as plain sailing as that.

Consider if the daughter’s mother has been divorced and is remarried. Who actually handles the invitations and the Wedding Invitation Wording? The father, the mother or the stepfather? If we assume that it is not the stepfather, then which of the mother or father is responsible for the invitations, and whose names should be stated on them? A problem, isn’t it!

Wedding Invitation Wording - tradition

Perhaps the bride and groom decide to resolve that by arranging the wedding themselves. It is a very good way to overcome that problem, and might not satisfy both natural parents, but it might be a good decision, and will also affect the Wedding Invitation Wording of the invitations since they will be inviting guests to their own wedding.

Incidentally, whoever does the inviting, it is always the father mentioned first if the invitation comes from both parents, either by name or in the form of Mr. and Mrs..., and always the bride mentioned first in the names of the couple being married. If the bride and groom are making their own invitations, then the bride is mentioned as the first host of the wedding. That is first and last time that the bride comes first – after the wedding it is always Mr. and Mrs.! Don’t blame me – it is the way that protocol is for the Wedding Invitation Wording!

Wedding Invitation Wording - choices

If one or other of the parents are deceased the Wedding Invitation Wording will traditionally refer only to the surviving parent since it is sadly not traditional for the deceased parent to be mentioned in the invitation. The wedding might also be paid for by a relative, such as an aunt or uncle, in which case their name can be mentioned as the host in the absence of parents.

If guests are being invited to the reception only due to the ceremony venue having limited space, a separate form of invitation will be needed for them. That would be worded “____ request the company of ____ at a reception to celebrate the marriage of ____ to ____ at ____ on ____”. The same would be true for a ‘ceremony only’ invitation.

Wedding Invitation Wording - reception

Sometimes extra guests can be invited for the complete reception, including the meal, and sometimes just for the jollities afterwards, and the Wedding Invitation Wording of the invitation should make clear which the invitation is for. If only for the dancing, then state ‘evening celebration’, ‘evening reception’ or something similar. It is normally understood that the evening invitation does not include the meal. If it does, then state “reception and wedding breakfast” or “meal and reception”, to make sure that they don’t turn up after stopping off at McDonalds on the way!

The above advice is based on actual situations that have been encountered in the past. Including a stamped self addressed RSVP card is a good idea to make sure you get a reply. An email reply address is a good idea though, and the address for the reply should be printed at the bottom left of the invitation.

Wedding Invitation Wording - timing

Ideally your invitations should be sent out no later than eight weeks before the wedding, and if you have a calligrapher, then they should be contacted four months in advance. The invitation itself should consist of one piece of paper about 32 to 40 pound stiff letter sheet, and the main two sizes are classic (4.5 x 6.25 inches) and Embassy (5.5 x 7.5 inches). There should be a single sheet of tissue paper inside, traditionally to protect the Wedding Invitation Wording.

The invitation should be contained within an envelope which is then itself place inside a larger envelope that is addressed. That is traditionally to keep the invitation pristine clean when it is taken from the envelope. In the USA invitations are on ecru paper, and white in Europe.

Wedding Invitation Wording - formality

Do not worry about formality though. Protocol and traditional are fine, but what your guests will remember is how beautiful you looked and how well they enjoyed your reception. They would be very pitiful if their priority was remembering the Wedding Invitation Wording on your stationery! And if you have received a video invitation but lost it, don’t worry: you will be sure to be sent an ‘Are You Coming’ email for confirmation of your attendance, so all will be well.

It does raise the question though, as to which is the better: traditional and beautifully written snail mail invitations, or modern and beautifully spoken email video messages? Answers on a postcard – or perhaps by email . . .










Wedding Invitation Wording

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