Wedding Invitation Protocol

Wedding Invitation - formality

A Wedding Invitation is sent out to relatives and friends of the bride and groom, and frequently also of their parent, to invite them to witness their marriage and then join them afterwards in a meal to celebrate the union.

Have you ever though of the reason for a Wedding Invitation to be so formal, and not just the same as invitations to a party, for example. Why can’t we just say to friends “Hey, Joe. We are getting married next week. If you are free why not pop round to the church at 3 and then the party after at the hotel next door.”

Wedding Invitation - logic

Why would that not work, and what is the reason for the formality in a Wedding Invitation? In fact there are a number of logical reasons plus traditional ones that originate in the mists of time. At one time, two people were wed simply by stating the fact and in days of old when knights were bold, the knights frequently suffered a convenient bout of amnesia shortly after consummating the marriage. From this grew the practice of others witnessing the wedding, so that there could be no pulling out. Hence, the tradition of sending out invitations for others to act as witnesses.

A logical reason is that the providers of the food and drink afterwards needed to know how many such ‘witnesses’ to expect so that all could be catered for. And so it is today. A Wedding Invitation is sent out for people to witness the wedding and also so that those organizing and paying for the jollities afterwards can exercise as degree of control over how many and who attends, and also of the cost.

Wedding Invitation - necessity

The calligraphy, and gold or silver generally used in a formal Wedding Invitation, is a reflection of the fact that invitations were at one time written by scribes and monks. These were the only people who were able to write, and the gold and silver represent the inks used and the type of copperplate writing used in these days. The single sheet of tissue frequently found in invitation cards represents the tissue used in the original invitations to prevent the inks from blotting.

Today, such a Wedding Invitation are sent as a social necessity, and woe betide any bride or groom who leaves out great aunt Margaret. In fact, it was generally the bride’s parents that were responsible for sending the invitations, and still often is. This is because it is traditionally they who pay the costs of the reception, harking back to the old dowry system when the bride’s father presented her with a dowry to take into the marriage for her husband. There are many such practices that still take place in modern marriages, behind which people no longer understand the traditions.

Wedding Invitation - preparation

Although not a large part of the preparation required for a wedding, the invitations nevertheless are important. The Wedding Invitation is generally sent out by the bride or her parent’s and should state the time of the wedding and the venue for the reception. It has been modern practice that where room for the ceremony is limited, or the budget is tight, for invitations to be sent to those that are not close family or intimate friends to be invited to an evening reception only, once the main meal and speeches are over.

The Wedding Invitation should include a request for a quick response, formally in the form of R.S.V.P. which is short for the French, ‘repondez s’il vous plâit’. This lets the invitee know that they should reply so that you can make arrangements for the numbers who are attending so that you know how many to cater for, and at modern wedding reception costs per head you do not want to over-cater.

Wedding Invitation - timing

The Wedding Invitation will normally be sent out at least 4 weeks before the wedding so the guest can make arrangements, especially if the wedding is mid-week when arrangements will have to be made for time off work. Baby sitters may also have to be organized so about four weeks notice is about right. That also gives time for you to get the replies and arrange the catering and seating arrangements. These normally have to be confirmed about a week in advance.

A Wedding Invitation is a personal thing to the recipient, but an important part of the wedding arrangements to the bride or her parents, or whoever is organizing the reception. It also introduces a degree of formality to the occasion since, whatever else modern living has done to society, it has not yet trivialized our weddings.










Wedding Invitation

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