Wedding Etiquette: To Have or Not to Have.

Wedding Etiquette - history

Wedding Etiquette has developed over the centuries, but also takes peaks and troughs, and etiquette today is generally more relaxed that it once was. There is a reason for all point of etiquette, but there are so many different traditions that rule the right way to do things at every stage in a wedding, from the engagement to the honeymoon, that only the more important will be discussed here.

Not all weddings follow classical Wedding Etiquette, though even if you have decided not to follow certain traditions, it is generally useful to be aware of them. The major points of etiquette start in the church and at the reception, in other words are connected with the big day itself. Questions such as who sits where, who stand where and who delivers what speech, can vary from country to country, though in the west there is normally a protocol to be followed.

Wedding Etiquette - tradition

Other Wedding Etiquette such as who pays for what is more tricky, and often a matter of who has most money! In current times the bride and groom frequently take on much of the financial cost themselves, though it is traditionally the bride’s parents who pay for the reception as a substitute for the dowry of yesteryear.

First the church. Wedding Etiquette protocol calls for the best man and the groom to arrive at the church first, and stand at the altar awaiting the bride. The groomsmen, or ushers, should also arrive early to escort guest to their seats. They should offer their right arm to each woman and escort them to their seats, to the left or right of the aisle depending on whether they are friends of the bride or the groom. Ushers are responsible for providing their own wedding attire.

Wedding Etiquette - protocol

Wedding Etiquette calls for the groom’s parents should be seated before the bride’s mother, in the first pew on the right of the aisle facing forwards. The bride’s mother, your mother, that is, is the last guest to be seated, in the first pew on the left side. Your father escorts you down the aisle, and having given you away, takes his seat beside your mother. The Maid of Honor will precede you and your father down the aisle, then arrange your train and veil. She will also carry the groom’s ring, the best man having yours.

After the ceremony, your parents and then the groom’s parents leave the church before the other guests, after you and your husband, the Maid of Honor, best man and bridesmaids. At the reception, the line-up to receive the guests is in the order the bride’s mother and father, the bridegroom’s mother and father, the bridesmaids, Maid of Honor, the best man and then the bride and groom. That is also the order in which they are announced into the reception according to Wedding Etiquette.

Wedding Etiquette - toast

Now the speeches. Not everybody sticks to this Wedding Etiquette, but there is a speech etiquette as to who toasts whom, and who should give speeches and who can voluntarily. I have read in places that the best man gives the first toast, but this is not true tradition. The first speech should be presented by the father of the bride, who will thank the friends and relatives of the bride and groom for being present. He will then say a few words about his daughter and finish with a toast to the bride and groom.

Next for Wedding Etiquette is traditionally the bridegroom, who responds to the toast behalf of himself and his wife. He will also thank the guests for their attendance, and also his new in-laws. His duty is to propose a toast to the bridesmaids. It is now normal for the bride to say a few words, but not traditional, so it is not mandatory. If she wishes she can say something about her husband and how they met, though does not propose a toast. Finally, it is the turn of the best man, who responds to the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids. His speech should be witty and make reference to the groom in an amusing way, without being too rude or insulting. The best man can propose a toast to the bride.

Wedding Etiquette - dance

The Wedding Etiquette for the dancing is that the bride and groom start off the first dance, followed by the bride’s mother dancing with the groom’s father, and vice versa with the groom’s mother and bride’s father. The best man and Maid of Honor than take the floor, and then the bridesmaids. After that anything goes.

These are the generally accepted traditions of Wedding Etiquette, though many people have their own way of doing things. A wedding is not going to be annulled because the wrong person made the wrong toast! Some weddings ignore etiquette altogether, and have no speeches or toasts, while others are completely formal.

Wedding Etiquette - organization

You should organize your wedding the way you want it, and if you want to follow strict Wedding Etiquette, then do so, but if not then it will not make the slightest difference. Your wedding will be what you want it to be and that is the important thing.










Wedding Etiquette

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