The Wedding Speech and Toasts

Wedding Speech - toast

There are traditionally three members of the wedding party that will present a Wedding Speech – the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. Occasionally the bride will also say a few words, though this is not traditional. The toasts, too, are traditional, though who proposes what toast is not cast in stone. However, there are reasons for each speech, which is why there are specific traditions, even if they are not followed.

When preparing a Wedding Speech, the speaker should know something about both families, since what might seem amusing to one family can easily offend the other. It is normally good practice, therefore, for the speakers to remain as impersonal as possible, though the best man can make some personal comments about the groom (though preferably not the bride, no matter how well he knows her).

Wedding Speech - tradition

The first Wedding Speech is traditionally given by the bride’s father, and in the absence of a toastmaster he should be introduced by the best man. The function of the father of the bride is to welcome the guests to the wedding and thank them for joining in the celebration of the marriage of his daughter to her new husband. He should then say a few things about his daughter, about her character, accomplishments and skills and make a few reminiscences.

It is also traditional for the bride’s father to tell the guests a bit about his new son in law, though the comments should be complementary, and not contain any material that could offend either family or set of friends. This is important, and true of all the speeches. It is then traditional for him to propose a toast to the bride and groom. At some weddings this toast is proposed by the best man, and he can make the same toast if he so wishes, but properly it is the bride’s father who should do the Wedding Speech.

Wedding Speech - groom

The next official Wedding Speech is given by the groom in response to his father in law’s speech. On behalf of his wife and himself he thanks the father for his toast (hence the bride’s father should propose the toast) and also for the hand of his daughter, provided at the ‘giving away’ part of the ceremony. He also thanks the guests for coming and for their gifts, and thanks his wife for marrying him!

The groom should then go on to say a few words about how he met his new wife, and mention a few of her attributes not mentioned by her father. Finally, he should thank those that have helped to make the day so successful, including the parents, best man and any ushers or groomsmen, and then compliment the maid-of-honor and the bridesmaids on how good they look. Finally, he should finish by proposing a toast to the bridesmaids. The bride can say something at this point, and while it is not traditional and there are no required elements of her Wedding Speech, it is becoming more common. It does upset slightly the reason for the given order of speeches, but nobody will mind much about that these days.

Wedding Speech - protocol

The reason for that is that the best man’s Wedding Speech is initially a reply to the groom of behalf of the bridesmaids. That is why the three main speeches are presented in that order: the groom responds to the toast of the father of the bride, and the best man responds to the groom’s toast on behalf of the bridesmaids. However, there is no hard and fast rule, although the bride does not propose a toast.

Wedding Speech - best man

The best man traditionally presents the final Wedding Speech, and initially thanks the groom for his toast on behalf of the bridesmaids. He follows that with a few anecdotes, mainly about the groom, but can also include the bride as long as he is careful not to offend the bride’s family and friends. In olden days that would have led to drawn swords, and fewer leaving the reception than joined it!

The best man also reads out any messages from the uninvited, or those unable to attend, and finishes with a toast to the parents of the bride and groom. Hence, all three have specific speeches to give in a specific order, and specific toasts to make.

Wedding Speech - pointers

In composing your Wedding Speech, you should be sincere and keep the bride and groom as the center, and not yourself. Those who have people to thank should encompass everybody concerned, and the bride’s father should welcome the groom’s friends and family as well as those of his daughter. Try to memorize it in chunks, so that all you need refer to are bulleted pointers. That is much better than reading the speech, and it looks a lot more sincere.

If you follow these pointers then your Wedding Speech will be a success. Keep in mind that nobody is trying to judge your performance, and if you keep it natural and sincere, and have done your homework, then you will succeed in your task.










Wedding Speech

Copyright 2007 © Sovco LLC.