The Formality of the Wedding Card

Wedding Card - invite

The big day is nearly here, and you have send out a Wedding Card to every guest to let them know that they are invited to share your big day with you. The big question that many people are unsure about is who should send the invitation, and what form should it take.

It is traditional, irrespective of who actually shells out the cash, for the wedding and reception to be organized by the bride’s parents or guardian. This is true even if, as is common today, the couple pay for the reception rather than the parents of the bride. This originates from the bride’s dowry, which had to be provided to the groom’s family by the bride’s family. Without a dowry their daughter could not be married.

Wedding Card - tradition

This is true of many civilizations, and its remnants lie in the tradition of the bride’s parents paying for the whole thing and sending out the invitations. So, it is the bride’s mother that generally decides with her daughter who should be invited, and the bride’s mother’s and father’s names that appear on the Wedding Card.

Invitations to a wedding have to be made formally, rather than a simple verbal invitation given, since it is essential to know how many people are attending. Most venues for the ceremony and the reception have limited capacity, and so your mother will need to invite a specific number of people rather than provide an open invitation to all family and friends. Sometimes people will be offended at not being invited, but little can be done if there is a restriction on numbers.

Wedding Card - decisions

It frequent practice to have two different types of Wedding Card, one inviting the recipient to both the ceremony and the reception, and another to the reception only. This is particularly true in the case of evening receptions, when the church or chapel has a smaller capacity for guests than the reception venue, and friends of the bride and groom are invited to the evening reception rather than to both. Relatives and very close friends will be invited to both, but others may receive a card inviting them to the function afterwards.

This could also be after the wedding breakfast, or reception meal. Frequently, especially when the couple has a large number of friends, the cost of inviting so many people to the meal would be prohibitive, but an evening buffet is arranged for those that have been invited to the celebrations after, and not to the ceremony or meal.

Wedding Card - professional

A formal Wedding Card should be written in copperplate calligraphy, most being foiled in silver or gold, as a reflection of the original handwritten invitations that were crafted by trained scribes. At one time very few people could write other than those specifically trained to do so. The invitations were necessary to ensure that the wedding was formally witnessed, so that knights of old could not take part in a form of marriage and then conveniently forget about it later having had his way with his ‘bride’.

It is now regarded as a formal part of a wedding, and all members of both families expect to receive an invitation, even the parents of the groom. Although it is given that they will attend their son’s wedding, they will still expect a formal invitation. The wording of a Wedding Card is also fairly traditional, and while it can vary in detail, the broad information provided is pretty well cast in stone.

Wedding Card - requirements

First, the Wedding Card should take the form of an invitation from the parents of the bride to the wedding of their daughter to her groom. They should state the name of the parents making the invitation, the names of the bride and groom and also the venue, date and time of the ceremony. If the reception is to be held elsewhere, other than the ceremony venue, then that should also be stated.

If the Wedding Card is to the reception only then it should take that form, stating the date, time and venue of the reception. The invitation should also request a response, the RSVP (respondez sil vous plâit), to inform the recipient that they must reply. This is essential so that those making the arrangements know how many are coming, and how many to cater for. Catering costs are normally per plate, so generally table places will only be organized for those that respond.

Wedding Card - timing

The Wedding Card should be sent out at least 4 weeks prior to the event, and even earlier for destination weddings or when many people have to travel a long distance. They might have to book plane or train tickets, and even make arrangements for baby minders and such like. You will also need to allow time for replies so that know how many to cater for.

A Wedding Card is an important part of the tradition and formality of a wedding, and woe betide you if you fail to send one to somebody who expects it.










Wedding Card

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